


safe

by thefigureinthecorner



Category: The AM Archives (Podcast), The Bright Sessions (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, and not particularly graphic I don’t think, but it’s mostly the memory of it, not in the moment, not written to be shippy but who am I to stop you, some violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 17:15:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19277821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefigureinthecorner/pseuds/thefigureinthecorner
Summary: After all is said and done, Owen breaks.Pretty major AM Archives spoilers; probably non-canon-compliant after Episode 9.





	safe

After all is said and done, Owen breaks.

 

He prides himself on maintaining his composure and remaining calm for as long as he did— for as long as it took to bide his time, comply with Helen until Jackson arrived and knocked her out before she could even react to him. For as long as it took to sedate Helen, and to re-sedate Alex before he exploded. For as long as it took to get Helen back into her cell in Tier 5, for as long as it took to sweep the building and make sure nobody else was hurt, for as long as it took to calm Mark down.

 

For as long as it took for Dr. Sharpe’s body to be wheeled away.

 

He oversees every process along the way. Calming down patients and employees alike, making sure the sedative is administered to Alex as per Dr. Sharpe’s protocols, helping direct medical attention in their late CMO’s place, those are the things he’s good at. He’s good at losing himself in his job and ignoring what’s gone wrong.

 

It’s not until long after the situation has settled down that everything that’s happened in the past few hours hits him full-force.

 

He watched Dr. Sharpe die. He saw Helen slit her fucking throat. He could have lost more people— one is too many, but Joan, Mags, Mark, they all had contact with her and he could have lost all of them.

 

He takes a breath.

 

Another.

 

His hands are shaking, but he doesn’t notice until Joan puts her hand on his arm as his legs nearly give out and his face crumples.

 

He falls apart in her arms, and she stays, which is more than he could have even thought to ask of her. She stays and uses that soothing therapist-y voice on him, running a hand up and down his back and telling him that he’s safe now, that everyone’s safe now, that Helen can’t do anything now.

 

He wants to believe her. But Dr. Sharpe is dead and no amount of safety can change the fact that he _saw it happen,_ and frankly it’s hard to believe someone when their words are meant to comfort themselves just as much as they’re meant for him.

 

He can’t be comforted by safety when he knows he’s going to be reliving that moment over and over again. Helen can’t do anything more but he’s not safe from his own memories. He’s not safe from the unbidden images of blood pooling on the ground in front of him, of the sight of the life leaving her eyes, of the feeling of not being able to scream, much less move, of only being able to watch and do nothing.

 

He says none of this. Instead he brings up that his limbs still feel kinda weird. Joan agrees and he gives a small chuckle through the tears.

 

He’s an absolute wreck by the time he’s tired himself out and he feels marginally more okay than he was.

 

His life hasn’t been normal for a very long time, but for a second he feels like it might be able to be again, eventually.

**Author's Note:**

> god that episode huh
> 
> I’m literally posting this unedited at 5am because I started it within an hour of the episode coming out cause hoooo boy
> 
> nobody in this series is safe from trauma huh
> 
> update: I finally read back through this and it is now slightly edited because I fixed one (1) typo


End file.
